2018
Knees with Feather
I can feel where energy sticks in my body—where I hold on and grip physically and psychically during difficult life experiences. I can feel it release during my practice. The tension and release seems endless, ever-deepening.
Which brings me to my knees. Literally.
I looked up the word “genuflect” in the dictionary. “To bend the knee or touch one knee to the floor in reverence or worship.” “To surrender.” Religious people urge us to surrender our lives to God. But what does that mean to a nonreligious person like me?
Well, surrender is a battle term for no place left to go, nothing left to fight. You have lost. You make the choice to lay down your arms and give yourself up to the winners, because they are in control now.
Oof. In this moment, I feel so not in control that everything in me wants to buckle at the knees.
If you object to the word “God,” I hope you will forgive the limitations of language, and understand that I mean it in the most loose translation of something for which there is no translation. Please insert “The Universe,” “The Divine,” or whatever works for you.
What if I followed God’s lead without knowing where I’m being sent? What if I waited for God’s timing without knowing when it was coming? What if I trusted God’s purpose and love, without understanding the circumstances or reasons?
What if, instead of trying harder, I trusted more?
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